Sunday, September 21, 2008

Mr. Telephone Man...

hmm. no contact for a few days. just a few random texts and calls to talk to the girls. i find that strange, mainly because usually it was ten calls a day.

now, i have never been "that girl", the one who calls you and asks where you are. i also dont feel the need to call you during the day PERIOD. i like talking on the phone to my girlfriends, many a night has been burned up running off at the mouth with P and D, but not with my man. i mean, its all good at the beginning when you dont really want to be all up in each others face 24/7. but once we are in a relationship, especially living together, i dont want to talk to you.

i remember back in '04 i think. i was working as a rep for TMobile, making peanuts, and desperate to find another job. Nel had left on a Thursday to chaperone a marching band trip to Atlanta with his friend. i got a call for a job interview early that Friday, and hopped out of bed, threw on that business suit, and ran out. when i got back to the car, i had 34 missed calls. thats right, 34. one was from mom, one from my cousin, and the other 32? you guessed it.

well since he was out of town i assumed something was wrong. from the number of calls i figured the bus had run off the road. i called him back frantic. and what i got was a conversation something like this:

Me: hey whats wrong?
Him: nothing. where are you?
Me: wait, what do you mean nothing...
Him: i been calling you.
Me: um, yeah, 32 times.
Him: i didnt call you no 32 times.
Me: funny, because i had 34 missed calls and only two of them were NOT you.
Him: whatever. where you been?
Me: for your information i had a job interview at 830 this morning.
Him: you didnt mention that.
Me: yeah well they called at 8 and i told them i would come straight over.
Him: why didnt you tell me?
Me: like i said. i had 5 minutes to get ready and i just left. i wasnt thinking to call you ALL THE WAY IN ATLANTA and tell you i had a job interview.
Him: thats disrespectful, blah blah, you are so inconsiderate...(insert random nonsense here)
Me: look. dont call me no damn 32 times over some bullsh*t.

if im lying, im flying.

since i am not that girlfriend who feels the need that every time you take a breath, wipe your behind, blink, or clear your throat, that you have to call and let me know, i expect the SAME THING. looking back, that wasnt the only time it happened. i have never once asked why a phone call wasnt returned or answered. i have been called inconsiderate, cheater, liar, you name it, just because i have not stopped in the MIDDLE of what i was doing to answer his phone calls. he even mentioned it when he got caught messing with old girl a few months ago. "well sometimes i call and you dont answer the phone. how am i supposed to know what you are doing?" i dont need to tell you how much offense i took off that comment. dude what? well, i guess now i know what you were doing when i called and you didnt answer. so for all the good girls who have been asked that question, let me answer it for your man.

where was i when i didnt answer your phone call? i was on the other line with the doctor who was calling in a prescription for your sick child, washing dishes, outside at the car, upstairs giving the kids a bath, in the car driving, vacuuming, in walmart making groceries for you to eat and couldnt get a signal, washing your clothes, trying to fit in 4 seconds to pee, playing a Barney tape for the 7th time today so that i could get some things done, at work, on a job interview, went to get the mail, left the phone in the car while i ran in cvs, turned it off so i could go in the bank, loading the dishwasher, unloading the dishwasher, cooking dinner so you had a meal to come home to, on a conference call, in school at a PTA meeting, picking the kids up from the sitter, yelling at the kids, or sitting by myself in a corner upstairs near tears because i feel like im doing this alone...thats where the hell i was. you pick one and tell me when the hell i had time to mess around...

the moral of this story is that you cant let anyone shift the blame in the relationship. i am a victim of that to the very end. not only is it disrespectful, but it can cause unwarranted doubt in your mind. i actually thought maybe it was inconsiderate to have not taken 3 seconds to let him know i was leaving, and then i thought better. i dont care if i had been married. i would have handled the situation the exact same way.


Mala said...

wow. it seems that we're almost living the same life in different places.

love can be a pain in the ass...

i also think my ex and nel are either related or reading the same play book...