Sunday, August 30, 2009

An Update!

I know, I know…I haven’t blogged in so long! It’s a shame too, so much has happened in the last few months.

I started a new job, love it!
Then my laptop cord died on me and I couldn’t afford a new one…
I lost several family members….hated it! (I will definitely blog about them later on….)
I got my car! And then it died >:-( but now it’s fixed!
My sister informed us a few days ago that she is going to the Coast Guard. wtf.

The past few months have been a serious rollercoaster of emotions for me, and I haven’t even gotten to Nel yet. Sigh. Actually, nothing has really been going on with us. He is still begging to get back together, and he is also working two jobs, so unfortunately, I get minimum breaks now. Since I am also working with children, I basically get ZERO breaks! That sucks. I went for so long without a car and now that I have one, and on occasion, a few dollars burning my pockets, I can’t leave because my mom watches the kids, so after-hours babysitting earns me a side eye. Just one more example of something I have to remind Nel about frequently…he still doesn’t understand what it’s like not getting a break from things. Sure, he works two jobs, but if he wanted to save his money up and take a vacation in a few months, he could do that without a second thought. I don’t have that luxury. I can barely pee without the little one knocking on the door.

I know what some of you are saying…take those kids, and drop them right off at his house and keep it moving. don’t get me wrong…that thought crosses my mind every day. Hell, the last few times he has come up, he hasn’t even stayed overnight, just for a few hours and then went right back home, long enough for me to go grocery shopping or do laundry. yay. what kind of break is that???

I have decided that from now on, once a month, he has to take them. Completely. it can be the same weekend every month but dammit I am overdue in the “take care of me” department and I can’t do it when I am looking at these two children every day! I’m single, working, have a car, I deserve to enjoy life. I don’t know how he is going to feel about it but frankly, I am not concerned. I know he has two jobs but one is on weekdays only so he can tell the other job that once a month they have to shove it. NOT MY PROBLEM!

oh well. there are other things going on in my wacky, wonderful life. I promise to get them updated soon!