after a very interesting weekend, i returned home to a peaceful, quiet, clean home. the girls were still with Nel at his parents house an hour away. after a dinner out where we chatted in a friendly fashion, we brought them home, put them to bed and chatted for a while.
Well apparently, he had a lot on his chest. for about ten minutes he fussed at me for not telling him how i was feeling before i broke up with him. as i sat and listened to him, i realized he was kinda right. i never did just sit him down and say "look, im not feeling things, you do xyz and i hate it and i just cant keep on". i simply had an attitude. when i asked him if the attitude clued him in at all, he looked at me like i was crazy and said "are you kidding? youve had an attitude since you lost your job! how am i suppose to tell the difference??"
my dad asked me at the beginning of this entire situation if i had told Nel what the deal was...had i actually sat him down and said what i felt and what he needed to work on. being a woman, i hinted, mentioned, suggested, sugar coated, and assumed....Dad said something to me that i will remember from now on: men have to be TOLD. you cant assume they got it, or sugar coat it. you have to say it as clearly as possible, or else they just wont get it sometimes...and thats what i did. i know now that it was unfair to expect him to change when he had no clue/was unclear what i was unhappy about.
now, does this change my mind about things? lol, no it doesnt. but it did give me a chance to apologize to him for that, and he knows from now on, whatever i feel the need to say, im going to say it, so there is no excuse later on.