Sunday, January 25, 2009

Moving On...Maybe Not?

Nel has been up my ass about moving down where he is. i am not in the mood.

forgive me for being blunt, but who in their right mind will volunteer to move back in with someone who was semi-unfaithful, bossy, anal, and job hopping? what the hell is going on! i know its hard for him seeing the girls on the weekend, and he is burning up a lot of gas, blah blah, but that is not my problem. i take care of these two 24/7 so the least he can do is drive up here on the weekends.

not only that, i really dont like it down there. i have friends and some family, but other than that i am severely underwhelmed. tons of traffic, bridges, tunnels, whats to love? i like my life where it is, but i hate where i am living so thats causes him to assume i will move on down and forget all about our troubles.

my mom is a pain. i love her so much but the two of us should not live together. i am messy, she is neat. im relaxed, she is...not. but i can tolerate this situation as long as i possibly can, because HE IS JUST LIKE HER. you all know about the semi-unfaithfulness, let me fill u in on the rest.

bossy: you name it, he feels he should run it. case closed.

anal: any person who comes in the house and DOES A WALK THRU has got to be out their minds. what the hell does he think happened? oh, i know, that ash tray got moved, because you just went and fixed it. i swear, before we stopped living together, i would move stuff around just to see him move it back. that is some majorly annoying shit, people.

job hopping: ok, while i whole-heartedly agree he keeps a job, he just keeps too many. i understand making money but he has worked i would bet going on 20 jobs since we met. they always "disrespect" him or "overwork" him...i stay at jobs i hate to make ends meet, and i shut up about it until something better comes along. how hard is that? not to mention how many jobs "weren't for him"...really? if they have benefits and a paycheck, whats not to love...

basically, i dont want to leave here and end up like we did last year, on the streets basically. i realize things arent anyones fault, but with me not working and zero prospects in sight, i cant uproot my girls and move an hour away where nobody can help me when i need help...not as shaky as things are with him...i promised myself that awful situation wouldnt happen again, so im not leaving until i can make sure it wont.