Kiss and Tell

one of my readers (hi patty!) asked me why i didnt just basically find someone else and let Nel know about, aka kiss and tell lol...i wont lie. its crossed my mind a couple times....let me run a few stories past you, about the guys i mentioned to patty, i call them my fan club.

Valentine: met him ten years ago, he was a big boy and cute...but when i say sweet as hell? he is the type of guy you take home to mom and she loves him instantly. i remember him bringing me lunch at christmas time when it was extra busy at work and i couldnt get away to eat. at 18 years old he had the insight to do this for me...! over the years, we talked and would lose contact for a year or two, but he "found" me again several months ago and has been in touch with me. he said he wishes he had the chance to go back and snag me when he had the chance so long ago...(and lord knows i wish he had too, it would have saved me a lot of trouble with baby daddy #1. but thats another story.)

Angelo: wow. so i went to a party, i think i was 20, and met all the friends out of this group of guys...all of them were extra cute and my damn girlfriends snagged them before me. one of them said, well i've got just the guy for you, im going to go pick him up from work and introduce you two! of course i was nervous, i just knew he had to be the ugly one...but he wasnt, he was as cute as the rest thank goodness. Angelo was an absolutely great guy. we talked for hours that night, and saw each other for several months, he always treated me so special even though he didnt have a lot to spend. after an unlikely breakup, we didnt see each other for years, until he found me on myspace. he has been on a one-man crusade to win me back after all this time lol, he even mailed letters from time to time to my old job telling me he regretted how we split and how he really did love me...

robert: we have known each other since 6th grade. he was my first "boyfriend", we had our last class of the day together, home ec, drama and keyboarding. Rob was a hardhead, and after 6th grade, his parents shipped him off to military school. fast forward to the first day of marching band practice, a week or so before the start of freshman year. i was in the band room and he walked in with the rest of the football team. it was one of those moments where i couldnt believe who i was seeing after so long...we never hooked up in high school although he did try a couple of times to drop a hint, something was always just off, and i loved him to death as a friend. every time someone saw him that knew me after we graduated, he asked about me...and then he found me on myspace a few months ago (myspace can be amazing for your love life lol) I got the same story from him, always cared a great deal for me, crushed on me all the way thru school, just never got the nerve to carry it any further...

these three guys consistently appear out the woodwork over the years at the craziest times, drop hints, send me cards, call me, email me, text me...if i really, really, truly wanted to hurt Nel? i have plenty of good guys i could do it with. guys like him, good looking, with educations and careers and strong feelings for me, ALL THREE OF THESE GUYS HAVE ASKED FOR SECOND CHANCES.... but the fan club has one advantage over him: no drama with me. i just cant bring myself to do it. i sometimes wonder if its coincidental that these three always find me, and always talk about what could have been?? i try not to dwell on that, i dont believe in moving backwards, but striving forward...

its just kind of hard when the past come and puts themselves in your path.