Wishful Thinking

normally i have nothing to write about twice in one day. today i do.

i was already in a vulnerable mood about the whole 6 year anniversary thing. my sister told me to watch The Notebook...i declined. nobody in the house realized what today was but me. i dont think she would have suggested it if she had known.

this afternoon i got a text message that started a chain along these lines:

Nel: thanks for coming with me yesterday...miss us spending time together!

Me:well im glad you got to see the baby longer than usual.

Nel: is there any future for us... i miss u and the kids

Me: dont ever doubt that i love you. always have, always will. we have some serious work to do and i just dont know where to fix things...

Nel: love u

me: i know you do but you have to realize my heart cant take much more of this. things have to change one way or the other. point blank.

*sigh. i just dont know where to begin. i think i should probably just leave it alone....