Meet Me Halfway

hmph. so i gotta car. it isn't the BMW i dreamed of, but its decent transportation and i got a complete STEAL so who's complaining? I'll tell you who: Nel is.

if i hear one more time about "when are you going to bring the kids to see me?" i am gonna cut someone. i think he still has the undying dream that we are a "family" and that if i bring the girls down, there's no way I'm going to just come back home. boy does he have another thing coming. I understand that for the past year, any and all visiting has been him coming down here. HOWEVER, with my current job situation, i cant gallivant all over Virginia so he can play daddy for the day. besides that, i need a damn BREAK. I'm not taking the kids down there so he can watch TV on the couch while i chase after them! NO SIR! i can stay HOME and do that shit!

am i wrong? is it time for me to step up and start running them up and down the road more?

Ten People I Hate: a Throwback

Posted April 2008
Ten people i hate...are you one of them?


there are ten people i hate. please tell me you are not one of them...

10. Mrs. walks-too-slowly-across-the-street-at-walmart...is there lead in your a**? i was nice enough to let you cross in front of me, why can't you move faster??? This aint Maymont, no strolling. Move it.

9. Mr. picks-his-nose-at-the-stop-light...dude, unless you are in the back of a limo, WE CAN ALL SEE YOU. please, use a kleenex. or at least a leftover napkin from Quiznos. save your gold mining for somewhere less public. its gross.

8. Mrs. doesnt-discipline-her-kids-in-public...aka Mrs. whispering softly to Bobby to please get out the floor next to produce and i promise ill buy you a happy meal and two toys...this is all very simple. hand + a** = being able to go in public and not look like a crappy parent.

7. Mr. i-cant-decide-what-to-order-at-the-McDonalds-drivethru. unless you are from a remote island in indiginous Peru, you know what a Mcdonalds is. for those 7 people, Mcdonalds has basically three things. Beef, fries, and etc. really, just pick a number 1 thru 10, and say "with a coke" and you will probably be okay. dont make me get out the car...

6. Mrs. WELCOME-TO-WACHOVIA-WOULD-YOUR-CHILD-LIKE-A-LOLLIPOP???... lady, she didnt even realize you had them until three loud seconds ago. now, if i say yes, i have to find wrappers and sticks for the next six months, and clean sticky handprints off my back windows. not to mention the hyperactivity. if i say no, i have to hear whining. its a catch 22.

5. Mr. doesnt-hold-the-door-for-ANYONE... you sir, are an a**. i have met you at every possible establishment. dont pretend you dont see me struggling with two children, a diaper bag and a stroller. one of these days you are going to catch me after a sleepless night and im gonna let you have it.

4. Mrs. loud-private-cell-phone-conversation-in-the-checkout-line...wow. this has been a very informative 3 minutes in line behind you. not only does your sisters ex lovers cousin have an std, he hasnt come out the closet and he just bought a new honda. throw in the fact that you are totally fixing Aunt Trudys pot roast for dinner, and you owe me about ten minutes of my life back.

3. mr/mrs international-bill-collector/telemarketer. hm. yeah, um, Sprint? in the future, i will totally need someone WHO SPEAKS ENGLISH FLUENTLY to handle my issues. please do not connect me to an Indian person named Lisa. (Lisa? really? thats your birth name? i think not.) and nnnnooooooooo. i dont need somebody from New Dheli telling me about vacation packages. i swear the next one to call is gonna get a speech about bills and why 6 nights in Jamaica aint gonna pay them.

2. mr or mrs whoever-controls-the-gas-prices. your a** is mines.

1. Mr and miss I-HATE-MY-JOB-SO-I AM-GONNA-COMPLAIN-LOUDLY-ABOUT-IT-IN-FRONT-OF-MY-CUSTOMER. usually in their teenaged years, this species seems to be concentrated in my local Walmart. this animal can change right in front of your eyes, usually into the elusive I-CANT-WAIT-TO-GET-OFF-IN-TEN-MINUTES, or even the I-GOT-OFF-HALF-AN-HOUR-AGO-WHY-ISNT-MY-REPLACEMENT-HERE-YET. look, i hate coming into walmart as much as you hate working here, so i know how you feel. i understand that half your co-workers didnt bring their hungover a**es in today. i also understand you are one of the 3 cashiers open at 5:30 in the afternoon on a Saturday when there are 30 other lanes. but please, work with me. you ring up my trash bags, $5.00 gallon of milk, and wine coolers, and i wont tell your boss that you "was totally 'bout to walk up out dis b*tch". see? im easy to get along with!


honorable mentions: Ms. doesnt-fill-my-cup-all-the-way-at-the-Wendys-drivethru, mrs. mispronounces-my-name-LOUDLY-in-the-doctors-office-waiting-room, Mr. talks-to-me-like-a-child-when-i-get-my-oil-changed, and ex-President Bush.

You Don't Get a Thank You

Sooo. it appears Nel is super extra pissed at me because i didnt thank him for giving me the money that i require to get a car so i can get a job. Let me start at the beginning...

Nel left in July. i decided then that i wouldnt be that "evil baby mama" and let him just do right, or at least i would give him the chance first. although he is unreliable as hell at times, i figured i would give the opportunity to act responsibly without getting the courts involved, because they are ruthless as hell and him getting locked up behind some child support does me NO good..

anyway, i got little sprinkles of money for a few months. and i mean sprinkles. my parents got heated (and still are!) because while he was down there "getting his things together" i was up here living rent free at my parents house. They felt that he should be at least paying me enough for me to help out around here, and they are right. two kids use a lot of water/electricity! i asked him if he finally had things in order so that i could start getting steady, decent amounts. im not being unreasonable, i just want to take care of the baby, because diapers are not free, and i have been selling half my belongings on eBay just so i can purchase things for her. THAT IS NOT RIGHT...

he had the nerve to tell me that after paying his brother for staying with him, paying his car note, and paying his insurance, he didnt have any extra money, and that what he did have left over, he put in his gas tank and came to see the girls. I. WENT. OFF. Extra? you dont have any EXTRA?? i very sweetly let him know that if i took him to court, that "extra" would be the first thing coming out of his check every 2 weeks! your child support isnt EXTRA MONEY. it is a necessity and i cant function when you are being trifling! i even suggested he stop visiting as much. YES i told him to cut back on his trips. all he would do is show up with stuff, park on my moms couch, turn on dads digital cable on the big screen downstairs, and then send the baby to me when she needs to be changed...Then he would head to sleep, stay on the couch til noon, repeat, and then go home. that is a damn vacation. all that was missing is the mini-bar.

true, i was not working, what else is new? does anyone have a job these days? i wasnt getting called back even for really minor jobs so whatever he gave me was what i had, and he was QUICK to tell me maybe i needed to get a job as if i was NOT trying...

anyway, back to the original topic. once tax time came around, he said he would "totally break me off" since i hadnt really gotten much from him for a while. and by much, im thinking maybe $150 total over several months. he promised about $1500 to me so i could get a car, because all my savings/eBay funds have been going towards paying my parents for things and picking up his slack. as time went by, it eventually dwindled to $1200. yeah, i was pissed, but it was better than what i had been getting. i got my first installment a few weeks ago so i knew he still owed me 1k, and yesterday was going to be payday, right?

he came in with $500. i didnt understand what was going on...i figured we were gonna get this whole payment thing taken care of for good so i could tally up how much i had and make some moves. i asked him when i would get the rest of it and he said in 2 weeks. i asked him why i didnt just get the entire amount and he said if it was THAT big of a deal, he would go get it then. (really? if you had it why not just give it to me???) i told him with a bit of attitude not to worry about it, just get to me whenever it was convenient for him. he left, got the rest, and threw it on the desk where i was sitting. i let that little disrespect slide...

well i get a text saying "you could have said thank you" or whatever. so i told him i did thank him for the flowers (yep. he brought flowers for me.) and the cherry set (long story, but extra cute) but he was mainly concerned about the money. the next text said "its the f*cking point of it all, u act like i dont do sh*t. dont worry about it, how many b*tches get money like that at one time? its all good, i see how you truly are."

after i laughed (which took a good while to get over, because i thought that was hilarious), i sent him a text back basically saying i "got it all at once" because he OWED me that money. duh. please dont flatter yourself *sigh*

and let me just say to anyone male or female who is paying support in any kind of way...what i do with that money or what the other parent does with that money? DONT WORRY ABOUT IT. he said i wasnt going to use the money for the baby, i was going to get a car, which i had to remind him would take me to a job that would in turn pay for things for the baby...!

when my dad was a probation officer, he spent a ton of time in juvenile court. he said he constantly heard how the non custodial parent (usually dad) would complain to the judge about how the custodial parent (usually the mom) would take the CS money and use it for her car note, rent, gas money, insurance, etc. and how it wasnt going towards the child. time after time, the judge would remind the paying parent that rent must be paid to shelter the child, gas and a car note enabled the other parent to drive to work and make the rest of the money to support the child. THEN you had the paying parents who said "she is using my money for her hair/nails/etc." and the judge didnt care. matter of fact, they didnt care even if they were smoking that money up! if the child was getting taken care of and wasnt starving, abused, etc, then the courts wouldnt interfere. i know it seems wrong on a few levels, but if i take the money that Nel gives me and buy an ice sculpture just to watch it melt in the sun, then so be it. because every other dollar i get benefits her and that little $75 he scrapes up for me is not going to be stressing me once i start work! it goes back to what i said a few posts back about being independent: im not budgeting around him. im doing it around myself so that i dont have these problems.

anyway, he called me this morning, fussed about me being ungrateful, and then hung up on me. lol havent heard anything since! and at this point, i really dont care! I have some cars to research online...