I Do...i think...

has anyone figured out the whole marriage thing? i heard a woman the other day say, "marriage is a lot of trouble, but its worth it!" say what?



i guess what im trying to say is WHATS ALL THE FUSS ABOUT?????? just to let you know, my parents are not the cause of my sudden dislike for all things matrimonial...they have been together for almost 30 years. thats right, 30 freaking years...a lifetime, basically.

what do you all think? is it worth it? or do you expect to find yourself wishing the other person would leave so you dont have to...

Moving On...Maybe Not?

Nel has been up my ass about moving down where he is. i am not in the mood.

forgive me for being blunt, but who in their right mind will volunteer to move back in with someone who was semi-unfaithful, bossy, anal, and job hopping? what the hell is going on! i know its hard for him seeing the girls on the weekend, and he is burning up a lot of gas, blah blah, but that is not my problem. i take care of these two 24/7 so the least he can do is drive up here on the weekends.

not only that, i really dont like it down there. i have friends and some family, but other than that i am severely underwhelmed. tons of traffic, bridges, tunnels, whats to love? i like my life where it is, but i hate where i am living so thats causes him to assume i will move on down and forget all about our troubles.

my mom is a pain. i love her so much but the two of us should not live together. i am messy, she is neat. im relaxed, she is...not. but i can tolerate this situation as long as i possibly can, because HE IS JUST LIKE HER. you all know about the semi-unfaithfulness, let me fill u in on the rest.

bossy: you name it, he feels he should run it. case closed.

anal: any person who comes in the house and DOES A WALK THRU has got to be out their minds. what the hell does he think happened? oh, i know, that ash tray got moved, because you just went and fixed it. i swear, before we stopped living together, i would move stuff around just to see him move it back. that is some majorly annoying shit, people.

job hopping: ok, while i whole-heartedly agree he keeps a job, he just keeps too many. i understand making money but he has worked i would bet going on 20 jobs since we met. they always "disrespect" him or "overwork" him...i stay at jobs i hate to make ends meet, and i shut up about it until something better comes along. how hard is that? not to mention how many jobs "weren't for him"...really? if they have benefits and a paycheck, whats not to love...

basically, i dont want to leave here and end up like we did last year, on the streets basically. i realize things arent anyones fault, but with me not working and zero prospects in sight, i cant uproot my girls and move an hour away where nobody can help me when i need help...not as shaky as things are with him...i promised myself that awful situation wouldnt happen again, so im not leaving until i can make sure it wont.